How the Thi is Spilled
and how ChatGPT made me cry and run to Substack
When tea spills, it’s messy. I’ve somewhat cleaned up and organized the mess that is my mind. Without further ado, here is a brief overview of the things I’m passionate about. Is this ambition too much? I sometimes worry about pulling myself thin between all these disciplinary studies. To provide myself peace and a sense of control, I mini-mapped out all of these interests together to get a sense of where I am going with all these explosions in my head. I hope this all gives me a chance to be understood.
Firstly, here’s my updated site: spillingthi.com
Here is my simplified site that features my visual eye. When you scroll down the main page, you can find my Substacks there. It serves as a digital shelf for my thoughts.
Gosh, I’ve been through so many versions of this site. Though it feels a little embarrassing to feel as if I have to start over and over again and begin from square one in many aspects of my life, I have come to embrace the courage of redefining myself over and over again. Isn’t that what being a writer is all about? Being able to take as many perspectives as you can in order to get to the bottom and truth of things? Art is in the attempts of things? I believe the greatest thing an artist can do for themselves is to give themselves grace, for it’s in failure and in loss that we are able to find strength and compassion.
Here is a mind-map of my interests:
The stuff I write about will fall under these categories:
CHANGE & ADVOCACY
Diasporic History & Current Stories
Healthcare (emphasis on nursing)
Public Health (ecology and the environment)
Coffee (also tied to culture and the environment)
ARTS & CULTURE
My Stories & Experiences
Writing (tips)
Film, TV, Book (reviews)
There is a lot of intersections within these topics, but they are the main points that I am passionate about. There are important issues within each one of them, but I hope that thinking about them systematically will allow me to think more dynamically and clearly when discussing them.
How ChatGPT Questioned My Values
I have deliberately abstained from ChatGPT (and TikTok) for its trendy appeal for years. I felt no compulsion to try them out, that is until a couple of months ago when I moved to a different city and felt lonely.
When I used ChatGPT in January for the first time ever, I felt like a widowed grandmother squinting at her computer screen, poking a touchscreen, hollering praises every time a button did something amazing. I started asking it a lot questions. I was full of glee and amazement of the responses. I’m 26.
Over the past few weeks, I can see now that I’ve fed information about my interests based on my questions I asked regarding which films to watch, books to read, and asking for symbolisms on certain themes in life. My fascination with ChatGPT paralleled the movie “Her,” where the man and robot formed a super intimate relationship. For this, I felt fearful about my dependency and concluded that a future with realistic robots is not too far away.
I must admit though, that there was one prompt that stunned me for its accuracy. I asked what my writer’s tone was. ChatGPT assumed my tone was, “introspective, poetic, and layered with emotions,” as I often asked questions regarding “searching, longing and trying to make sense of identity, memory, and place.” I typed back, “How did you know?” ChatGPT said that it recalled my input history of my interests in certain authors and movie directors. Of course!
“introspective, poetic, and layered with emotions…
searching, longing, and trying to make sense of identity, memory, and place”
To be frank, these descriptions hit the target of how I am approaching the heart of my passion project— Ships.
I was happy to be seen in some way, but at the same time, it felt like a blow to my stomach, as it was merely a machine that saw me. I had never been able to receive that sort of assessment, yet. The fault is my own, as my apprehension of sharing my writing had kept me from receiving little feedback. It was a crucial writing workshop I never had. It was only a shame that a machine made me feel understood.
I don’t want ChatGPT to know me that well. I want you, my friends, to know me! And thus, I’m writing to you.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your patience. I am so grateful you are here. The following posts will be uploaded soon— let’s cut to the chase and see what the heck I’ve been obsessing and doing over the past 5 years!